The Mirror of Erised

There has been so much going on in the past month that I couldn’t encapsulate it into a single post. Between contracting COVID and dealing with the after effects to revelations that have occurred after receiving some counseling/coaching, I haven’t had much time or mental space to sit down and write anything out. But my brain continued to work, continued to chew on things, and so a return to form is eminnent.

This morning I was walking through a particularly intense meditation time, focusing on wrestling with an issue I’ve been struggling with, and a moment from the first Harry Potter book, “…and the Philosopher’s Stone” came to mind out of nowhere. I didn’t see the connection to my problem until later.

Harry is wandering around Hogwarts at night looking for something else, information to further his quest to discover what Snape is up to, when he stumbles upon a door and a room he had never noticed before. It’s a room, entirely empty, but for one thing: a standing mirror. Harry looks into the mirror and sees his parents standing on either side of him looking particularly pleased to see him. His orphan heart was thrilled and he ran to his wake his friend Ron telling him about this amazing mirror that shows his parents. They are really there! Ron, however, looks in the mirror and doesn’t see Harry’s parents, but he does see himself as head boy and lifting aloft the Quidditch Cup. Harry is confused, but still delighted. He comes back the next night and the next, and just sits in front of the mirror seeing his heart’s desire, his fondest wish.

One night he goes to the room and discovers the mirror was gone. The school’s headmaster, Dumbledore, is there instead. He explains to Harry that it was, as the boy guessed, a magic mirror that always shows the viewer the thing they desire most; the deepest, most desperate desires of their heart. Dumbledore explains, “The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is.”

The Mirror of Erised has been the downfall of many people who wasted away in front of it. It seems delightful, but it is, in reality, a cursed object. As such, Dumbledore informs Harry that it has been moved to another room in the massive school where it will be safe. Dumbledore then says one of the most important quotes in an entire book series of excellent quotes.

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

I wondered what the LORD had for me, given that He pushed this quote into my mind as I was meditating. As usual, I looked up a word.

dream:

1. a series of thoughts, images, and sensations, occurring in a persons mind during sleep.

Well, that’s not particularly helpful. But the next definition got more to the heart of the matter.

2. a state of mind in which someone is or seems to be unaware of their immediate surroundings.

Oh dear. That has the loving sting of a Father’s correction on it.

Reading further:

3. an unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy.

Well then. There it is.

One of the greatest issues with living in a modern society here in the United States specifically is that we have functionally created a culture that facilitates self-deluding dreams. We desire, we crave, and we are told we can have it all. The vast majority of our time is spent at work, true, but the rest of the time is self-gratifying delusion.

How much time did I spend on Youtube, Facebook, or Instagram seeing reality as it is not, and desiring another life; a life that cannot be, and will not be? I seek to be entertained/distracted from my real life, my real situation, and real solutions to my real life problems. How much time did I spend on Etsy or Amazon or Ebay or (Lord help me) Facebook Marketplace desiring and deluding myself that these objects will make my life better if I can just possess them, consume them?

We call them “possessions” for a reason. We call it “consumerism” for a reason. What we tend to not realize is that we get caught in a toxic cycle where our possessions begin to possess us and our consumerism begins to consume us. There is the next click, the next buy, a never ending visual well of new things to see new things to buy, new things to covet, new things to find meaning and joy in. We scroll and we scroll.

I scroll to ignore. I scroll to avoid. I scroll to feel something different, something more exciting, something more temporarily fulfilling than whatever is in front of me. My situation does not improve, but my perception of the situation has…because I’ve stuck something else in between myself and my situation. Screens, dreams, and desires are very fascinating things that will fascinate us into ruin and the grave.

The LORD did not create humans to do many of the things we have created for ourselves to do. We put the priorities we have created over and above the very things that make us healthy human beings. We’ve gone so far as to validate our desires and self-delusions by saying, “But this is the modern world and how will I get along in it if I don’t have X technology? X desire that other people have? You expect me to give it up and risk not being satisfied?” Or, at least, that’s the conversation I keep having with the LORD.

For me, the conversation is all about the self-delusion, the striving desire that all goes back to the idea right in the Garden of Eden. God is denying me something that I can reach out and get for myself. It looks good. I want it. Who am I hurting if I have it? Who is going to know? Who would condemn me? My life will be better even if just for a moment if I have it, if I distract myself, if I ignore the negative situation I am in…just one more look, one more view, one more click… When the Father has so much more for us, so much better for us, all of this striving desire gets at a lack of faith in His goodness, His wisdom, and His reign over us as the best King ever.

*sigh*

And there are well-meaning people who would pat me on the back and say, “You’re thinking too deeply on this. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Well-meaning, but that drives us further into ignoring the actual problem. We are a distracted people…who trade distraction, false image, false dreams, for a temporary, fleeting, momentarily satisfying sense of pleasure that can never fully satisfy us at all.

LORD, help me find my satisfaction in You.